Wednesday, December 10, 2008

thank you, Ron Popeil!

You're probably expecting to read something witty from my very talented wife. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm hijacking this because I don't have a better place to write it.

On several occasions over the years, Elleke has expressed some concern over my lack of hair. It's typically expressed by a look of pity and confusion on her face as she asks me about wearing a hat. She's been very good about being delicate, though, until last night.

I had just finished doing some work in the garage and came in the house to find the girls in their beds. I checked to see if Ella was awake so I could go read to her. As I was situating myself next to her she suggested very politely that "they should make some kind of spray that 'people' can spray on their heads that looks like hair."

I laughed inside just a little and decided to cut to the chase. "Do you feel sorry for me that I'm kind of bald?"

She looked at me, teared up a little, got that look of pity on her face, and admitted "Yes."

I assured her that I don't feel bad about it and that she doesn't need to worry about me. I'm fine. Then I remembered Great Looking Hair from those Ron Popeil infomercials when I was in my teens. I had to share this with her: "Someone actually did make something like what you're talking about. It's like spraypaint, but it goes on your head and colors the little wispy hairs to make them look like real hair. And it makes your scalp hair-colored so people don't see the bald spot as easy. It actually looks a little worse than being bald."

She looked at me with the pity again, this time accompanied by the self assured nod that 'knowing better' provides.

I got the hint. "Do you think I should try some?"

"Yes," was the reply.



"If you really want me to try it, you can buy it for me for Christmas, but I don't really want it."

"Ok," she said.

Phew! It was over. I figured she'd forget about it and now that we had both aired our feelings, maybe she wouldn't feel so sorry for me. I was feeling fairly smug about how deftly I had handled it.

"But," she continued, "I'll have to buy white and black to match your other hair."

Thanks, Ron Popeil! You really know how to make a guy feel old.

After doing a little research to write this up, I discovered that "GLH" is available in a color called "silver-black". Here's a link, Ella. Oh, darn. Looks like you can't buy it there any more. The sham-wow is looking tempting, though.

4 comments:

Sher said...

Tom--you're going bald? I hadn't noticed ;)
p.s. what are you guys doing in your garage? I noticed the tarps. Did you back out of the garage and forget to open the door?

Matt Newman said...

Tom, I found on ebay you can actually buy GLH in bulk:

http://health-beauty.shop.ebay.com/items/Hair-Care__glh_W0QQ_catrefZ1QQ_flnZ1QQ_sacatZ11854QQ_trksidZp3286Q2ec0Q2em282?_trksid=p3286.c0.m282

Just don't let Elleka know!

Tom said...

@Sher -- I actually decided to do the epoxy coating on the garage floor "over thanksgiving weekend." It's taking just a little more time than I planned ;-)

tecwhitram said...

Awesome post Tom! Glad you hijacked the blog to entertain us.